Great Moments in Rock and Roll

My 10-year-old God daughter Catherine, sitting in the back seat of the car, listening to her mother's iPod:

"Mommy, what's a working class hero?"

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Florent

Florent is closing, so we went there last night.

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IRS Spam

I know that we are all getting pretty savvy about ridiculous phishing emails, but just as a public service, I am posting this recent one that apparently a lot of people fall for. I have to hand it to the authors, it's clever.


In case there is any confusion: This is not real. The IRS will never contact you via email, even if you e-file. And you don't have to fill out any forms to get your rebate (or your refund), other than filing your taxes.

Click here if you want to report some IRS spam of your own.

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Late 1970

My sister and I have been working on a project. What if the Beatles had not gotten a divorce in 1970? What if they still loved each other and got couples counseling instead? (just NOT Primal Therapy) What would those albums have sounded like?

This wasn't as easy as it sounds. While 1970 and 71 found our boys churning out music like a busy jukebox, later years found them further and further out of sync. The other problem is, even from the very start, the albums were produced very differently. Finding the right balance and transitions took some work.

There were logistical problems on our end as well. For one, in general. I'm not a big Paul fan, although when I do like something of his, I really love it. So this required my rethinking my feelings about his music and buying a bunch of his songs off iTunes. And speaking of iTunes, all of my George Harrison albums are on vinyl, so when  iTunes finally put his (and John's) catalogs up it was very helpful. Now, if they would just put Dark Horse and Extra Texture up, I could do a 1972 list.

Anyway, we decided we should put some thought into what the boys would allow each other to get away with. "Cold Turkey" did not make our list because this was a song Paul had rejected for a Beatles album. So I originally started this play list with Working Class Hero, until my sister pointed out that a Beatles album probably wouldn't start with a song that uses the F word... twice**.  Chances are John's lyrics might have been altered for a Beatles album--you know, couples counseling does encourage compromise--but not wanting to second guess the past too much, I changed the song order.

So here are the play lists we came up with for 1970 and 1971, for those of you who 1) care and 2) are familiar with at least some of these songs. This would have seen the boys putting out back to back double albums, but this whole thing requires us to extend our sense of disbelief, anyway.

1970 (Thinking it should be titled "Early 1970"..either that or something weird like Scrambled Eggs, or No We Don't Hate Each Other Vol. 1.)
It's So Hard
My Sweet Lord
Maybe I'm Amazed
Remember
What Is Life
Instant Karma!
Every Night
Ballad Of Sir Frankie Crisp (Let It Roll)
Mother
The Back Seat of My Car
I Found Out
Isn't It A Pity
That Would Be Something*
Working Class Hero**
Early 1970
Run Of The Mill
Isolation
Oo You
*my sister and I both agreed that this song, very pretty but very repetitive, might have benefited with some input from John

**The night John was murdered, WPIX FM, which was the "Lite" music station, played Working Class Hero in it's entirety, i.e, not censored. I always wondered if they just weren't familiar with the song, or hadn't heard it in so long they forgot, or, less likely, decided to take a chance that the FCC wouldn't bust them considering the circumstances. I kind of picture them scrambling to find a John Lennon album, finding "Plastic Ono Band" from their old library of albums (from when they were a real station), dusting it off, and throwing it on the turntable. "Oh, God, did he just say 'F*ck'? Oh GOD, did he just say it AGAIN?"

1971 (Another Dollar, or No We Don't Hate Each Other Vol. 2)
Imagine
Another Day
Apple Scruffs
Jealous Guy
Oh Woman, Oh Why
Let It Down
I Don't Wanna Be A Soldier Mama
It Don't Come Easy
Monkberry Moon Delight
Gimme Some Truth
Art Of Dying
Oh Yoko!
Dear Boy
Awaiting On You All
Too Many People
Crippled Inside
All Things Must Pass

Still working on 1972, 1973, 1974-76 (this is where things get quite a bit out of sync), then 1980-81. Will keep you all (excuse the blog pun) posted.

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Random Thoughts Day

1) A huge chunk of ice broke off of the Antarctica shelf yesterday. Scientifically, how big, exactly, is "huge"? 415 square kilometers. You can't get any more scientific than that: it's in kilometers. In layman's terms, for all of us laymen, that's 7 times the size of Manhattan.

2) A Texas man got a sentence of 25 years today for MICROWAVING A BABY. And no, the baby didn't die. (I know what some of you are thinking, and shame on you.)

3) On the lighter side, I received a check in the mail today for $3,985. It appears to be a real check, although I have no idea who these people are who sent it to me. Apparently, if I cash it, I will have agreed to be a secret shopper. While I know for a fact there really are secret shoppers, in this case part of this money is supposed to be used for a money gram. A $3,000 money gram. The whole thing is really fishy, and the check is going into the shredder. If I had a shredder.

4) When I got out of the train at Astor Place tonight, the kid in the Mud truck was playing John Lennon's "Mind Games." I decided I had to talk to him.

"Is that your CD?" I said.

"No," he says, "That's John Lennon."

I did not laugh out loud. "Yeah, I know, I meant, is that your music choice or was it forced on you?"

""Oh. Yeah. It's on my iPod."

"That's a great album," I said, as if he needed or even wanted my approval.

I walked away from the truck as "One Day at a Time" started. Sometimes your favorite music sounds even better when someone else has chosen to play it.

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Instant Botox

"You're really happy to see me, but you can't express it."

(Mr Angell's explanation of how to look botoxed.)

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The Ultimate Spam

Okay, the ultimate spam:

I had to change my password the other day because I got a spam email from....MYSELF.

Apparently I was trying to sell myself replica watches.

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Hawk Man

A sighting: From across the platform at the Brooklyn Bridge IRT station came the sound of...pigeons? Actually, it sounded like one very large pigeon. I looked over, and saw a man wearing a hat with a long feather protruding out of it. (stop giggling at the word "protruding.") It took me a minute, and then I recognized him: The Hawk Man of Lower Manhattan. Usually, he caws like a hawk. Today he was cooing. Then chirping. Then he growled like a lion, which confused me.

Eventually he starting cawing, and my world made sense again.

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More Pictures

For some reason we were fascinated by these clouds.
No, we were not high.

This was the hotel entrance.

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iGive

I sent this information out as an email, but recently I was reminded (read: chastized) for not posting for more than a week (horrors!), so I thought I should get back into posting mode by adding this information here on my blog. That's what blogs are for, right? Not just to rant randomly or post vacation pictures?

So here, in its entirety, was my email. Those of you who have read it before, just chill. There will be more photos soon and other silliness to entertain you:

Anyone who spends any time shopping online should know about iGive.com. Basically, any time you order something online from one of the participating stores, they give a percentage to the cause of your choice--any cause, and if it's not on their list, you can add it. It can be anything from the March of Dimes to a personal cause (the example in the link is someone's kids' dance school). And all you have to do to send the donation is go to the iGive site first and choose the store from there instead of going to it directly.

The list of stores who participate is really long, and includes the Apple Store (including iTunes), LLBean, 1-800-Flowers, and Banana Republic, to name just a couple. (Amazon is not a participant, unfortunately, but B & N is).

You can have more than one cause. (My charity is the Wild Animal Sanctuary. )

Here is the link for more info and to register:

http://www.igive.com/welcome/

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Palm Springs

V and me at a restaurant named "Azul."
That was Matt's tee-shirt, although I think it belongs to V now.

This is the hotel in Palm Springs. An amazing place.
More photos of this to come, as soon asI get them
developed. (how very old school of me)

It was 75° in Palm Springs, but there was snow in the mountains.

The hats were courtesy of the hotel.

I told Matt he looks like Juan Valdez in this picture.

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LA Chronicles III, cont

See? I really was there.

Best performance: Tina Turner
Best comment: Vince Gill (""I just got an award given to me by a Beatle. Have you had that happen yet, Kanye?")

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LA Chronicles III

V and I before heading to the Grammys. Yes, I am that short. (especially when I'm not wearing shoes!)

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LA Chronicles II

Well, you can't have LA pictures without at least ONE with palm trees. These happen to be in Matt's back yard. (yes I know. "Who is Matt?" V's friend that we are staying with.)


V tries on the suit. The sneakers did not go to the ceremony.


Me, in the dress, seconds after Jamie Leigh, my makeup artist, left. Dress picked out by Daniel B "Bennett", bag picked out by the fabulous Cesar, and the shoes picked out by me, which is only fitting since I have quite the shoe addiction.

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LA Chronicles

Day 1--well, okay, night one. That crazy neon, which, unfortunately, you can't read, is a liquor store in Echo Park, the neighborhood where we are staying.


Day 2 --V's idea of a funny joke: dragging me to Griffith Park and forcing me to commune with nature.

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Take It As It Comes

When I was 14, a friend of mine invited me over to her house to hear a lecture about Transcendental Meditation. Afterwards, she, her mother, and I signed up. It cost her mother $100; it was $40 each for my friend and I. I stuck with it until I got to college, intermittently going back to it when it was convenient, or when I was bored or had too much caffeine.
I always think about TM when I hear Across the Universe. I think two things: That Lennon definitely captured the experience. And...that at our meetings, we always said "Jai (like "jay") Guru Dev." Lennon sings "Ji (like "pie") Guru Deva." And then I don't think about it much until I hear the song again.
Anyway. I happened to glance over a Metro paper this morning and saw a blurb, buried toward the bottom of the page, that the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi had died. They think he was 91. It might not have made it into the paper if they didn't have a hole to fill, and I might not have seen it if I didn't happen to glance at that part of that page. And I thought,"Well, look at that. He outlived two of his four most famous diciples."

L'Ancienne said...

I remember that ... was it DebGal and her mom? My mother was very disapproving of the whole enterprise. To quote M.F.: "TM leads to drug abuse."

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Rest Assured...

...my nervous friends. I did not call my Ex-ex-ex on his aforementioned birthday. That was just temporary insanity. Actually, I have been spending my time and energy dress hunting. which leaves no room for silly thoughts about the Exxx. Okay, I did think about him for about a minute, long enough to think,"No, I don't feel like calling him." And that was that.

As for the dress, I want to move into Betsey Johnson's store on Wooster Street. I could pretend to be a piece of furniture or something. I want everything in the store. I settled on a silver dress with a black sequin "shrug." (Somehow I have lived over four decades without ever having heard that word used for an article of clothing.)

So Friday I leave to go on my first vacation in six years. I kind of hate cameras--no, I totally hate cameras--but I thought it would be cool to post pictures of the event in progress, using pictures from my friend's iPhone. Not sure either one of us are that technologically advanced, but we'll see.

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Outside the Chelsea

That's me on the left.

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My Ex-Ex-Ex

I went to dinner the other night with some friends, namely, the first friend I ever made in New York, another friend who was in from out of town (who happens to be the second friend I ever made in New York), his sister and her wife. Afterwards we all stood on 23rd Street and, with the Chelsea Hotel's neon sign hovering over us in the background, we posed for a picture . I would post this picture, except I do not know how to yet. It was a real camera, by the way (or should I say "BTW"?), not a camera phone. As we were saying our goodbyes, I heard a familiar voice call my name.

I turned around, and there was my ex-ex-ex, guitar, or possibly guitars, on his back, heading to the A train. He sounded genuinely happy to see me. The last time I ran into him was last June,
when I spotted him coming into the subway as I was exiting. He spent ten minutes politely giving me the run-down of the current state of his life, not making eye contact with me. It was the first time I'd seen him since we both decided we were through with each other. (Actually, I don't think he realizes I was as much done with him as he was with me, but I can live with that.) Anyway, the other night's sighting was much shorter than June's, but much friendlier.

His birthday is in a couple of days, and although it would make many of my friends shudder and then tell me what a stupid idea it would be, I might call him to say "Happy B-Day."

I don't know why I would do that. No, my alarmed friends, I have no intention of trying to make him my ex-ex-ex-ex. Just one of those things I guess, ensuring good karma or striving for a normalcy we never had, or sticking it to him that I still kind of look okay, if you look at me in the right light and squint a little.

(Truthfully, my ex-ex-ex and I will never be normal.)

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And it begins….

Not sure about this blogging business, but here I am, topic-less but full of opinions. And I haven’t even posted yet, and already I might have to change my blog title to “Two Cheers.”

That’s right: I got another cheer.

It’s not like I post my opinions all over the internet, either. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve posted a comment. Well, okay, not really; I would have to have seven fingers on that one hand. Anyway, today I got an email from Yahoo! Answers telling me that an answer I posted months ago was chosen “Best answer.” (It was a question about recreational drugs. Draw your own conclusions.)

But no, the title stands. If this keeps up, though, maybe I'll have to add a "cheers" counter to this blog.

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